SEATTLE -- Despite the victim's repeated claims to the contrary, nothing about the following tale of a cocaine sex party, an assault and a potentially fake fiancee makes any sense whatsoever.
Seattle Police Department Officer Travis Testerman showed up at the UW Medical Center on Saturday and met with the victim's girlfriend in the lobby. She said her boyfriend had been assaulted by a group of unknown men.
The victim, who had blood all over his face and multiple facial fractures, said he didn't want police involvement, but his girlfriend convinced him to make a report.
According to that report, the victim told Testerman the following account.
His girlfriend was having a get-together Friday night at her house in the 9500 block of Interlake Avenue North. He showed up with a friend around 8 p.m.
Two hours later, the victim's friend was getting irritable, so the victim agreed to ride the bus back to Ballard with him.
When they got to his friend's apartment on 24th Avenue Northwest, there were three men and a woman doing cocaine, which made the victim uncomfortable.
The woman left, and the victim wanted to leave shortly thereafter because the three remaining men started making statements about sexual acts and blocked the door.
The victim told the men nothing like that was going to happen, at which point they started punching and kicking him. The victim was unsure if his friend participated in the attack.
The victim managed to grab a random set of car keys and escape the apartment. He started hitting buttons on the key fob until he saw some car lights blink.
He got into the car and drove it back to his girlfriend's house.
After this account, the victim became unable or unwilling to provide any more details, possibly due to some pain medication he had been administered, according to the report.
Officers went to the victim's girlfriend's house and retrieved the mystery keys.
Back at the hospital, the victim kept insisting he didn't want police involvement and just wanted to forget the whole thing despite his girlfriend's pleas to cooperate.
Finally, the victim told officers the car belongs to a girl he knows, and he would text her to come pick it up, according to the report.
While officers waited for the car's owner to call the victim back, the victim's girlfriend made the following statement.
The victim left her party around 10 p.m., but she got a call two hours later asking if he could come back. She said he sounded odd and mentioned that his friend had "made a pass" at him.
He got back to her house around 1 a.m. covered in blood. While she cleaned him up in the bathroom, he kept mumbling about being beat up by his friend and three other men and also about them trying to get his clothes off.
The victim told her the keys were for his car.
After the girlfriend's statement, the car's actual owner called back and spoke Testerman.
According to the report, the car's owner immediately wanted to know if the victim was in trouble or had been arrested and also where her car was.
She said she had been in Mill Creek all night, and the victim had her car all Friday.
Furthermore, she revealed she and the victim are engaged.
After Testerman spoke with the car's owner, the victim immediately wanted to know what she said. After making sure the victim was sure he wanted to hear that even with his girlfriend in the room, he told the victim the car's owner claimed to be his fiancee.
According to the report, the victim started laughing, saying he broke up with her four months ago. At that point, he stopped answering any questions, only repeating that "it all made sense now."
It clearly did not.